tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post4684644708750477080..comments2023-05-09T05:29:23.918-04:00Comments on Alienated Conclusions: What If Black Women Were White Women?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger208125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-18387739983539626902013-01-03T15:41:43.398-05:002013-01-03T15:41:43.398-05:00Thank you so very much. I was just having this dis...Thank you so very much. I was just having this discussion with my boyfriend, we are both black. <br /><br />Honestly I have been loosing my mind in all this because when using plain English and explaining these concepts to people (everyone EXCEPT black women) they act like I'm bizarre or delusional or worst just another angry black bitch even when I'm not presenting this way, and I take careful/painful measures to not be seen as one of those ABB because the only thing worse than being a black woman in this WORLD is being a black woman who is "angry" i.e. a black woman that wants her existence/contributions in the human community recognized as important, beneficial, pleasant etc. how dare me... This is RUINING my relationships because I want men who have a preference for me. But Black men don't, and like everyone else, including many black women, they have internalized and approved of the concept of white female superiority and unfortunately I suffer from having a preference for black men. But I won't straighten my hair or wear weaves or colored contacts or try to lighten my skin (Ambi). I am loosing it, its like where on EARTH can I go that the beast of superiority hasn't touched. I know that this response is choppy at best but dude, my heart is fullAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-84066262552069063652012-11-08T20:48:00.414-05:002012-11-08T20:48:00.414-05:00excellent article.
i think this makes people thin...excellent article.<br /><br />i think this makes people think about how ridiculous the images and 'scientific' explanations for discrimination can be.<br /><br />i'd never really given the 'media portrayal' and 'physical objectification' of black women any thought. i thought all black women really were tougher than white women, cos their parents trained them to be tough if they were living in a rough neighborhood.<br /><br />all the black women i saw did have 'protruding asses' and wear a lot of makeup and bright clothing and so i just believed that did make them more comfortable with sexuality. but reading that part about 'flat asses' being considered sexy cos they could be penetrated easier really got me thinking. i never hated anyone or said anything bad about black women, but i realize now my thinking was wrong. i don't know why i thought black women were more sexual than white women, but now i know that's a silly idea. i also can't believe black women all hide their natural hair in public. that would be such a hassle every morning. thanks.samnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-81143399562650360002012-11-08T20:35:21.034-05:002012-11-08T20:35:21.034-05:00Thank you so much for this essay.
It's a grea...Thank you so much for this essay.<br /><br />It's a great tool to help people realize what we might not otherwise.<br /><br />And the tone is not accusing or angry, which makes the message easier to pass onto others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-50619257040603214192012-09-08T14:14:32.820-04:002012-09-08T14:14:32.820-04:00I thought this was a great, challenging article. T...I thought this was a great, challenging article. Thank you for writing it.<br /><br />I'm white and thus have privilege, I just want to be clear about that. <br /><br />I want to mention that I feel uncomfortable about the idea that white women, as the 'nice, fair, vulnerable' women, are protected by patriarchal forces, because it seems to me white women are raped and abused even when they conform to every stereotype of nice/fair/vulnerable that patriarchy has to offer. <br /><br />I'm trying to say that conforming to the privileged object status does NOT make white women safe from harassment. I do agree with you that women of colour suffer more, and that racism from white people (of any gender) makes them much more at risk. But I don't agree with you that conformity saves white women from these things. The idea that if white women just play by the rules, and stay virginal/become good mothers/stay faithful to their husbands, that we'll be saved from abuse seems fundamentally wrong to me.<br /><br />Am I trying to argue out of seeing myself as privileged, and thus talking out of my ass? I'd like your opinion.<br /><br />Again, thanks for writing this piece. Please ignore this comment if you consider it derailing the conversation.<br />Marianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-4851801925603275472012-01-11T12:05:29.463-05:002012-01-11T12:05:29.463-05:00Valid thought experiment. bit weird to see the cha...Valid thought experiment. bit weird to see the characterizations of white women as able to handle sexual violence because of x innately white characteristic.anilmchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07460148384577961756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-84154621325148588522011-11-01T23:04:02.429-04:002011-11-01T23:04:02.429-04:00Glad this is back up :)Glad this is back up :)Sophisticatedblkwomannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-49556446776250191382011-09-30T10:19:00.931-04:002011-09-30T10:19:00.931-04:00Wow. Thank you for this. As a non-american I'v...Wow. Thank you for this. As a non-american I've been reading and learning a lot of late about what it can mean to be black and female in the US, and your words speak volumes. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Incidentally I think dark skin is beautiful - this "beauty tar potion" of which you speak, any plans to get that on the market? :) Keep up the writing lady, you're clearly a talent - much love and respect from Aussieland!FifiGoggonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-54875632060787324612011-09-29T01:00:02.436-04:002011-09-29T01:00:02.436-04:00Word Up !!Word Up !!Coach Gettighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17507352566078480361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-26894782352516786282011-09-28T21:04:13.857-04:002011-09-28T21:04:13.857-04:00That was quite the ride. I think I'm going ba...That was quite the ride. I think I'm going back to experience that a few more times.justice calo reignhttp://reigngroup.usnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-7974289838995075342011-09-28T16:08:20.081-04:002011-09-28T16:08:20.081-04:00A friend just sent this article to me and I think ...A friend just sent this article to me and I think it is fabulous! I would love to repost in Pangea's Garden if it's okay.The Gardenerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04186559303617887401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-86724641690919735022011-08-01T22:22:29.536-04:002011-08-01T22:22:29.536-04:00Interesting. It actually made me uncomfortable, w...Interesting. It actually made me uncomfortable, which kinda says a lot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-8341626556053329482011-05-23T08:04:02.455-04:002011-05-23T08:04:02.455-04:00Phenomenal article!Phenomenal article!LaNeshehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04219535634041170532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-90000963368398026682011-04-09T11:05:14.928-04:002011-04-09T11:05:14.928-04:00Girlfriend, your article made me cry.... from all ...Girlfriend, your article made me cry.... from all the way over here in the UK! <br /><br />AT LAST! FINALLY! Someone with the COURAGE to articulate (beautifully) exactly what I have been saying to female friends for YEARS. Your article is the TRUTH and let me tell you, you have expressed your message SOOOOOO freaking well. White female privilege is truly alive and kicking in this oppressive and racist country (UK) and right across the world. The WW (angry and fearful)I tend to encounter (because I am well-educated, have an executive role, a house I own in a lovely area, no kids, no husband, drive and own a car, wear quality clothes, have a well-toned physique and youthful looks at aged 45 years)100% HATE ME as do 'certain' black and white men. Why? Because I do not fit their warped perceptions of what a BW should look like and be doing with her life (How VERY dare she?!!! Who does she think she is???!!). When I have objected to their treatment and comments the response has been "You are aggressive?", "You think you're better than me",and the one I hate the most "You think you're white".<br /><br />Nuff said.<br /><br />Thank you for your courage and honesty - please keep writing.Kimineenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-71208887744936293942011-03-29T04:21:17.361-04:002011-03-29T04:21:17.361-04:00Very powerful words. Don't know what else to ...Very powerful words. Don't know what else to say except: keep writing!!! Don't ever stop. The world needs to hear you what you have to say.Kianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14035086829980160672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-11967879293555221982011-03-29T04:19:33.940-04:002011-03-29T04:19:33.940-04:00This article blew my mind. Very powerful words. ...This article blew my mind. Very powerful words. I don't know what else to say except: keep writing!!! Don't ever stop.Kianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14035086829980160672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-14589243723692859132010-07-19T19:37:55.086-04:002010-07-19T19:37:55.086-04:00Amazing article....
To whoever said this:
Danila...Amazing article....<br /><br />To whoever said this:<br /><br />Danila said... <br />girlfromthenc, I feel you in everything you said. I don't want to attack or offend anybody but I do get tired of holding it all in and trying to be strong. I know this piece isn't meant for therapy, but I just have to get some things off my chest. So many things have come to min as a result of this piece.<br /><br />The first thing I thought about is my own social situation. I'm 28, black female, single of course (as are most of the black women I know around my age). I spent years pining after white men. Finally one of them told me straight out that he was interested because he heard black girls have "big holes". Even the nice ones would have never brought me home to mama. I've been told that I'm "too much". I realized I could not be compatible with them and would have a hard time trusting one. Years of exposure to white men's true feelings on the internet have turned me off even more. Black women aren't even desired in porn. Yes I have gone to porn sites and read the racist comments on videos of black women. Even while they're getting off they still hate us. <br /><br />.....<br /><br /><br />As I was reading this my heart was sinking in my chest. It is hard to be a black woman today, just as it was 100 years ago, please keep ya head up. The sad thing about it, I don't feel that it will get better. One thing I can say, non-black men do desire blk wmn, and its more than just sexual. Society does not portray blk wmn as something worth having, so they aren't going to want to risk family and friend exclusion and their social standing by bringing a black woman home. White ppl invented status, so they will always try to keep up with it.. I have been courted by white men on many occasions, I am sure many of those occasions were for sexual reasons solely... blk men do it to white wmn, that is a male thing, not a whie male thing.. But yes, we are viewed as being too much and or not good enough for most men.. good enough in the bedroom but not good enough on paper. You have to know yourself and know who you are. We live in a screwed up world, why would someone of worth be considered ideal?? It doesn't add up..Just know, it is not about looks, if it was, blk women would be the ideal, hands down.. even if it was about intellect and strength (mental, emotional, et.c) we would still be the "ideal". Its deeper than that,and that's why we focus on ourselves and let the rest catch up to us... One Love My Sister, You Will Always Have Me :o)nkreseknowledgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234728876781654564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-2485865320517577482010-07-19T19:37:52.550-04:002010-07-19T19:37:52.550-04:00Amazing article....
To whoever said this:
Danila...Amazing article....<br /><br />To whoever said this:<br /><br />Danila said... <br />girlfromthenc, I feel you in everything you said. I don't want to attack or offend anybody but I do get tired of holding it all in and trying to be strong. I know this piece isn't meant for therapy, but I just have to get some things off my chest. So many things have come to min as a result of this piece.<br /><br />The first thing I thought about is my own social situation. I'm 28, black female, single of course (as are most of the black women I know around my age). I spent years pining after white men. Finally one of them told me straight out that he was interested because he heard black girls have "big holes". Even the nice ones would have never brought me home to mama. I've been told that I'm "too much". I realized I could not be compatible with them and would have a hard time trusting one. Years of exposure to white men's true feelings on the internet have turned me off even more. Black women aren't even desired in porn. Yes I have gone to porn sites and read the racist comments on videos of black women. Even while they're getting off they still hate us. <br /><br />.....<br /><br /><br />As I was reading this my heart was sinking in my chest. It is hard to be a black woman today, just as it was 100 years ago, please keep ya head up. The sad thing about it, I don't feel that it will get better. One thing I can say, non-black men do desire blk wmn, and its more than just sexual. Society does not portray blk wmn as something worth having, so they aren't going to want to risk family and friend exclusion and their social standing by bringing a black woman home. White ppl invented status, so they will always try to keep up with it.. I have been courted by white men on many occasions, I am sure many of those occasions were for sexual reasons solely... blk men do it to white wmn, that is a male thing, not a whie male thing.. But yes, we are viewed as being too much and or not good enough for most men.. good enough in the bedroom but not good enough on paper. You have to know yourself and know who you are. We live in a screwed up world, why would someone of worth be considered ideal?? It doesn't add up..Just know, it is not about looks, if it was, blk women would be the ideal, hands down.. even if it was about intellect and strength (mental, emotional, et.c) we would still be the "ideal". Its deeper than that,and that's why we focus on ourselves and let the rest catch up to us... One Love My Sister, You Will Always Have Me :o)nkreseknowledgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234728876781654564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-36870964176829886462010-07-19T19:37:49.434-04:002010-07-19T19:37:49.434-04:00Amazing article....
To whoever said this:
Danila...Amazing article....<br /><br />To whoever said this:<br /><br />Danila said... <br />girlfromthenc, I feel you in everything you said. I don't want to attack or offend anybody but I do get tired of holding it all in and trying to be strong. I know this piece isn't meant for therapy, but I just have to get some things off my chest. So many things have come to min as a result of this piece.<br /><br />The first thing I thought about is my own social situation. I'm 28, black female, single of course (as are most of the black women I know around my age). I spent years pining after white men. Finally one of them told me straight out that he was interested because he heard black girls have "big holes". Even the nice ones would have never brought me home to mama. I've been told that I'm "too much". I realized I could not be compatible with them and would have a hard time trusting one. Years of exposure to white men's true feelings on the internet have turned me off even more. Black women aren't even desired in porn. Yes I have gone to porn sites and read the racist comments on videos of black women. Even while they're getting off they still hate us. <br /><br />.....<br /><br /><br />As I was reading this my heart was sinking in my chest. It is hard to be a black woman today, just as it was 100 years ago, please keep ya head up. The sad thing about it, I don't feel that it will get better. One thing I can say, non-black men do desire blk wmn, and its more than just sexual. Society does not portray blk wmn as something worth having, so they aren't going to want to risk family and friend exclusion and their social standing by bringing a black woman home. White ppl invented status, so they will always try to keep up with it.. I have been courted by white men on many occasions, I am sure many of those occasions were for sexual reasons solely... blk men do it to white wmn, that is a male thing, not a whie male thing.. But yes, we are viewed as being too much and or not good enough for most men.. good enough in the bedroom but not good enough on paper. You have to know yourself and know who you are. We live in a screwed up world, why would someone of worth be considered ideal?? It doesn't add up..Just know, it is not about looks, if it was, blk women would be the ideal, hands down.. even if it was about intellect and strength (mental, emotional, et.c) we would still be the "ideal". Its deeper than that,and that's why we focus on ourselves and let the rest catch up to us... One Love My Sister, You Will Always Have Me :o)nkreseknowledgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234728876781654564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-67299736743429267692010-07-19T19:36:31.941-04:002010-07-19T19:36:31.941-04:00Amazing article....
To whoever said this:
Danila...Amazing article....<br /><br />To whoever said this:<br /><br />Danila said... <br />girlfromthenc, I feel you in everything you said. I don't want to attack or offend anybody but I do get tired of holding it all in and trying to be strong. I know this piece isn't meant for therapy, but I just have to get some things off my chest. So many things have come to min as a result of this piece.<br /><br />The first thing I thought about is my own social situation. I'm 28, black female, single of course (as are most of the black women I know around my age). I spent years pining after white men. Finally one of them told me straight out that he was interested because he heard black girls have "big holes". Even the nice ones would have never brought me home to mama. I've been told that I'm "too much". I realized I could not be compatible with them and would have a hard time trusting one. Years of exposure to white men's true feelings on the internet have turned me off even more. Black women aren't even desired in porn. Yes I have gone to porn sites and read the racist comments on videos of black women. Even while they're getting off they still hate us. <br /><br /><br />I look at my young cousin. She's already had several abortions, and I'm almost certain she will end up with a few kids by different dads when all is said and done. On the surface, she fits the stereotype of the sassy, stronger-than-strong, hypersexual, hard-partied.....<br /><br />Whether you're a sexless mammy like me, or oversexed jezebel like my little cousin, in the end it all adds up to the idea that we black women aren't worthy of love (that highest of human ideals). If we're not worthy of love, then we're not worthy of justice, or mercy, or recognition, or forgiveness. We're not fully human.<br /><br /><br />As I was reading this my heart was sinking in my chest. It is hard to be a black woman today, just as it was 100 years ago, please keep ya head up. The sad thing about it, I don't feel that it will get better. One thing I can say, non-black men do desire blk wmn, and its more than just sexual. Society does not portray blk wmn as something worth having, so they aren't going to want to risk family and friend exclusion and their social standing by bringing a black woman home. White ppl invented status, so they will always try to keep up with it.. I have been courted by white men on many occasions, I am sure many of those occasions were for sexual reasons solely... blk men do it to white wmn, that is a male thing, not a whie male thing.. But yes, we are viewed as being too much and or not good enough for most men.. good enough in the bedroom but not good enough on paper. You have to know yourself and know who you are. We live in a screwed up world, why would someone of worth be considered ideal?? It doesn't add up..Just know, it is not about looks, if it was, blk women would be the ideal, hands down.. even if it was about intellect and strength (mental, emotional, et.c) we would still be the "ideal". Its deeper than that,and that's why we focus on ourselves and let the rest catch up to us... One Love My Sister, You Will Always Have Me :o)nkreseknowledgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234728876781654564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-39439863965523498072010-06-07T02:04:16.919-04:002010-06-07T02:04:16.919-04:00this is beautiful
but i cant help feeling that t...this is beautiful <br /><br />but i cant help feeling that there is an underlying issue present: <br /><br /><br />"In ghettos across America, men would stand on street corners and yell “Damn! You got a flat ass!” to remind white women of their sexual status in society." <br /><br />"Upper class women would be afraid that their “asses looked flat” " <br /><br />"Republicans would ban abortions to protect the virtue of pure, black motherhood and liberals would advocate increasing the number of abortion clinics in “low income” neighborhoods where white women would be the majority..." <br /><br />that issue is class! and the hierarchy system of america <br /><br />however, <br /><br /><br />i definitely feel that femininity is defined by the corporate world of white couples making love on a silk bed only after the white female has applied her timid body lotion "for fair skin" or after she seductively showers revealing her frail silhouette clad in a neautragena exfoliated scrub but... <br /><br />i do see that feminism is universal and a thing of equality why would one woman make another feel inferior? <br /><br />it is at the fault of the masculine mind frame that this society is torn even when joined by the strongest thread-womanhood <br /><br />the word WOMAN weather black white arab indian norweigan russian... <br /><br />i am a biracial woman who is criticized everyday <br /><br />because of my appearance-race-size-political views <br /><br />and i too feel inferior because i am labeled <br /><br /><br /><br />and this point is extremely valid and will ring true until the end of media and the power of the right hand <br /><br />but i feel that this issue this, <br /><br />"if black women were white women" <br /><br />is just another way of the government separating a group of people who are reaching for the same goal <br /><br />it can be compared to hoover black mailing mlkjr to keep quiet because of the "photos" he had on him <br /><br />not saying anything negative about a man of peace <br /><br />but <br />you cant put a hold on the revolution to make sure that you take care of your own first <br />when we are all in it together <br />thats the kind of racist mind frame that leads nowhere <br /><br /><br />you are just letting the corporate world define you and the people instead of leading them to freedom from that very oppression they despise <br /><br />unless the point is to have the media play to black woman to actually have a male-white at that,tell a young black female that she is to use such and such product and only purchase this phone because say beyonce uses it? it should be a matter of oppossition because of the hold they have on young women regardless of race <br /><br /><br /><br />i did thoroughly enjoy the article and sent it to many friends <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />blessings and love to you <br />fight the fightAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-90542797738808267492010-05-31T18:36:44.013-04:002010-05-31T18:36:44.013-04:00This was awesome.
I read "If Men Could Menst...This was awesome.<br /><br />I read "If Men Could Menstruate" before. It was really powerful stuff. But this was like the missing link in the chain for me. I have always wondered why we were considered unfeminine. There is evidence that supports that the notion that white women are the ideal of femininity is based on science, and not in conditioning. But there is also evidence that says the contrary. The most desired figure is the hourglass figure. I read somewhere that black women are more likely to have this than are white women. Also, women with a waist-hip ratio of 0.6-0.7 are more desired across the globe--black women are more likely to have that ratio than are white women. Why are our features considered "strong," when in some ways, white female features are just as strong (as you have mentioned in your essay)? You are right--the "fact" that white women are more beautiful than black women is not a fact. It took me so long to figure out that my skin is a protective force from harmful ultraviolet rays, my flat nose and large lips are just a flat nose and a set of large lips, and that my kinky hair is one of the most versatile types in the world. There is no *rational* reason to feel inferior, and that makes me feel better, regardless of whether or not "the rest of the world" subscribes to that ideal.Mystianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-10017186345486505742010-05-31T12:22:43.871-04:002010-05-31T12:22:43.871-04:00Such a great post. Made me think, made me feel, ma...Such a great post. Made me think, made me feel, made me see things I never had before. The world needs more great feminists like you and more great articles like this. Thank you :)Lab Rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07962574174521597312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-60438852018322535762010-05-17T09:48:10.798-04:002010-05-17T09:48:10.798-04:00this is an absolutely amazing articlethis is an absolutely amazing articleMalenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02999240775087109622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-2288678963519663362010-05-16T23:58:20.487-04:002010-05-16T23:58:20.487-04:00This was just amazing. I'm really glad to see ...This was just amazing. I'm really glad to see all the positive comments from various people of different backgrounds and color. You really made an excellent point and I think anyone with a brain stem can understand and appreciate the things you're saying. Keep up the great work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006987619093676904.post-85270229258474382262010-05-06T01:02:19.130-04:002010-05-06T01:02:19.130-04:00Daniela,
(sorry I know this isn't a message b...Daniela,<br /><br />(sorry I know this isn't a message board)<br /><br />But through the internet I realize this is how a lot of Black women feel, unwanted and unloved. And what I'm realizing more and more that it is GLOBAL. Every black woman, in every country seems to feel this way. Other dark skinned women of other races (although they are not considered as beautiful as their lighter skinned counterparts), still don't face what Black women face because 1.) Everybody but Black people have a culture in place that "protects" their women and VALUES them!<br /><br />I think the solution per say, is US (black women)and how we are raising our children especially our sons! Since most Black children are born out of wedlock, then why aren't we black women doing more to instill our own beauty and culture in our own kids that we are raising alone? I think a lot of us not doing it is because we sit around feeling sorry for ourselves! The media, has done a great job of telling us we are less desireable than white women or any other woman! Look at how we view Black single mothers vs. Angelina jolie. 50% of marriages in America end in divorce so half of American children are raised without their fathers in their home anyway?! So why are women like your friend looked down upon like they are nasty or somehow different??? Because she is BLACK........... <br /><br />I think all Black women worldwide will continued to be treated like this until we put our foot down, and start raising better sons! The only problem is soooooooooo many of us are so busy "looking for a man" that we don't have time to actually find ourselves and figure out what we want! I asked myself the other day "what exactly is wrong with being single" or "by yourself" if you are a black woman. This seems to be our greatest fear and the driving force why we'll accept anything in any man!<br /><br />Once I asked myself this I realized nothing. And I'm 27 years old, and just started going back to school again. When I was honest with myself, I realized I was never satisified nor happy with any men that I had ever dated. Heck, I've never even had an organism with a man! So why was I so worried if guys found me attractive? I realized it was stupid! I actually LOVE being single now. I really do. I don't worry about shaving my legs as much, or a guy seeing me with my hair wrapped up at night, or who's using me for sex! Its a freedom that calms me. I would like to find more women friends though. I think that's when you really feel lonely and unloved, when you don't have girlfriends shoulders to cry on! hugs girl!girlfromthencnoreply@blogger.com